I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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