i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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