Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
