dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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