it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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