dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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