After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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