You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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