i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
