she woke up with a sticky ear
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
