i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
