Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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