Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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