I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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