you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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