Kiss
Puke
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
