yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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