you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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