that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
