I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
