This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
