They should really pass out barf bags in church
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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