Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
