All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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