I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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