I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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