If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
