508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
