Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
