You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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