i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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