I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Success! We fucked roommates!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
