Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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