he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize