I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
