Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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