addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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