Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
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I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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