Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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