i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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