I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
