How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
