Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
