Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
