I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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