We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
