We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
