I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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