so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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