you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
