Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
