i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
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