Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
