Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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