What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
