Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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