I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
