I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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