weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Text me some of your sweat
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
