OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
