currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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