Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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