no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize