i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize