Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
