just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You pole danced in your parka.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
