Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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